


until the world tears us apart

by bbyhjuns



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: A little bit of violence, Angst, M/M, a little swearing, huge angst i'm sorry, mafia/gang, mentions of death and drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:12:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24775171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbyhjuns/pseuds/bbyhjuns
Summary: Serim is a hacker in a mafia gang who up till now, has managed to keep their hideout and identity a secret. This is not until Woobin, a law major, stumbles upon the land one day, that things become a little cloudy for them. The two fall in love but realises that their relationship is bound to fail because of their two completely different backgrounds.
Relationships: Park Serim/Seo Woobin
Kudos: 15





	1. we shouldn't have

**Author's Note:**

> there will be three chapters to this mini series; chapter one will be written in serim's perspective, and chapter two will be woobin's. the third & final chapter will be an epilogue narration! enjoy reading! :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serim regrets his actions and wishes that 'we' shouldn't have happened from the beginning.

**_“I want you in my life, but i don’t think i deserve you. You deserve better than me.”_ **

——

My eyes fell onto you the moment you set foot on our ground. There was a look of uncertainty and confusion in your eyes, and i could tell from your expression that you were lost, and afraid.

I watched from the side as Allen ran up to you and grabbed you by your arm. You winced from the sudden pull, but tried your best to remain calm, though i could see the tears forming within your eyes.

“What are you doing here?” Allen, who was almost shouting at this point, directed the question to you.

I bit my lips in nervousness as i watch you struggle to find words from within. Yet, seconds passed and nothing came out from your mouth.

Three other pairs of eyes were staring straight at you; all cold and hard. Within the dark alley, i seemed to be the only one who could understand why you couldn’t say anything.

Then you looked at me straight in the eye, and as though there was a connection, i saw the plead and cry for help from those deep orbits of yours.

The shaking and frightened you was hugging a pile of books tightly around your body, brown hair kept neatly underneath the beret you wore. You struggled to shake off Allen’s strong grip, but it was of no use.

Clearing my throat, i gave Allen a look and taking the hint, he immediately let go of your arm. You looked at me again, your lips now quivering.

“Let me handle him. You all can go in first” i called out to the other boys. Eyeing you for the last time, they nodded their heads in response and walked into the darkness that led to nowhere, in between these abandoned streets.

You didn’t dare look me in the eyes even as i made my way to you. My hands reached out to touch your shivering body, but you flinched once again, your tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“Hey” i called out softly to you as gently as possible, my hands now on your shoulder.

You didn’t reply, your head still lowered down as i noticed your fingers playing with the edges of the books.

“I’m not going to do anything to you, come on, let’s go” i said out to you once more, trying to look you in the eye, this time even offering a small little grin.

Your eyes met my gaze and i felt you loosen up a little under my touch.

“Why are you here? It’s dangerous to be out here alone.. Especially here.. You know?” i asked you softly, my arm around your shoulders for the intention of keeping you safe, and calming you down; and you didn’t seem to be bothered by it.

You furrowed your eyebrows at my words, as the words slipped out from your mouth, “Why.. is it dangerous here?”

I wanted to tell you the reason, but i knew i couldn’t blow away our cover. So i shook my head and gave a small smile, “It’s nothing.. Just, remember it’s not safe here and you shouldn’t be here," I paused to look at you again.

"And i trust you won't tell anyone else."

You didn’t buy my words, your face still showing an expression of curiosity and confusion.

I cleared my throat again, quickly changing the topic, “You haven’t told me why you’re here.”

Your face turned blank, and you stopped in your track immediately as you stared dead into the ground.

“Came to visit my dad because i was stressed - something i always do. But i don’t know why i got so caught up in my own thoughts and i kept walking and walking. Then i ended up here… In a place i’ve never been in before…”

My eyes softened at your words, my heart swelling up for no reason.

“Your dad… He lives nearby? Or..?”

You shook your head, then let out a small laughter that any living person could tell you were faking, before there was a deep sorrow in your eyes again, “He’s lying peacefully in his favourite garden. And he has been for 7 years now.”

And it was at this moment i noticed how weak and fragile you looked; someone who looked so harmless that tried to keep his sadness and grief underneath the pleasant smile you wore. I started to realise how lonely and sad you looked from that moment. The sadness you were trying to hide deep down inside your eyes and the frown on your face was something i noticed from the very start.

You were just a lost boy who wanted to find peace, happiness and love.

But you ended up stumbling upon us.

Most importantly, you stumbled upon me.

As someone who could relate to the loss of a loved one, my eyes met yours, then fell to your face and every feature on it. 

I felt my heart swelling up once again, especially after hearing your words.

“I’m.. so sorry” the words came out from my mouth. But you gave me an assuring smile, shaking your head, “It's fine, i've gotten used to it actually.”

A message popped up from my phone and i realised i had to be back quickly; which meant having to leave you.

I gave you a small pat on your back, before leading you out of the darkness that was engulfing you earlier on.

Before looking straight at you in the eye, the words that came out my mouth genuinely came from the bottom of my heart, “Promise me, never ever come back here again, alright?”

My seriousness seemed to take you by surprise, but you nodded your head still before giving me another comforting smile, “I promise.”

Then you paused, and looked at me with your eyes filled with sincerity and care; one i haven’t seen before. You gave my hand a small squeeze, “Like you said this place is dangerous, and i don’t know exactly how dangerous it is but, please keep yourself safe”

Then and there my heart skipped a beat at your words, and for once i felt something flow through my veins and body, like a spark; the fact that a stranger like you showed concern for me touched me.

I haven't felt this my whole life.

But what i do really doesn't allow me to be safe at all. And deep down i knew i would never ever be safe. At the time, of course you didn't know. But i didn’t want to ruin your concern and care so the most i could do was to feign a smile, “I will and thank you”

“You really should get going now”

And just like that you turned around and left this dark and segregated place, far away from the brightness of the city.

And for the rest of the day my mind was filled with thoughts of you.

Because how could someone who didn’t know my name be this open and caring to me.

Needless to say, you made me realise that there was still hope for love in the world and there was always this constant question that came up in my mind after that night.

_Will i ever meet you again?_

——

Then there you were, your legs huddled up together in between your arms, head buried in your palms as you looked so frail sitting on the dirty mess of soil beneath you. Beside you sat a beautiful headstone kept cleanly, with a name engraved deeply. A bouquet of flowers leaned on the cold, hard stone.

My eyes lit up immediately when i realised it was you, but i stopped walking, unsure of what to do.

But you looked as though you needed someone by your side in that state, looking all so weak and vulnerable.

I battled my own consciousness before deciding to sit down quietly next to you, making sure not to disturb your peace. But it probably didn't work, for you quickly shot your head up, revealing your red and swollen eyes, which for some reason, punctured a hole in my heart.

But you didn’t say much, just wiping away your tears and faking a smile to me, “Oh it’s you, good to see you again”

I looked at you with eyes filled with concern, my hands unknowingly reaching up to pat your back, “I guess… You’re feeling stressed?”

You let out a small laughter, trying your best to hide your sadness again, before letting out a sigh, “What’s new”

“I guess sometimes being the best isn’t always good huh”, you spilled out words that i could not understand then.

I watched as you traced small little circles in the soil with your finger, your mind dazing off to your land of thoughts.

“Why are you here” you suddenly asked, your finger still playing with the soil.

“J-Just keeping a look out and i happened to stumble across you” i stuttered a little at your sudden question, but you just nodded your head and said nothing else, returning back to silence.

Then you rubbed your hands together to clean off the soil, before let out a big sigh. Smiling at me, you reached out your hands to me, “I’m Woobin, what about you?”

“I… Uh..”

You stared at me with eyes full of anticipation.

“I’m Serim, nice to see you again.. I guess”

You smiled at me again and shook my hand; a touch i would never forget.

Then you said out the words that made my heart light up and till this day, remains vivid in my mind.

“You’re a really nice guy, you know”

My heart stopped.

Because if you knew what i was doing you wouldn’t think the same way.

And no one, has ever complimented me before.

You seemed to possess this power that could control my heart and mind.

I jumbled up my words a little, before replying a small “Thank you”

Then a message popped up on my phone again.

_“Serim come back right now we need your help to track down some people.” - Jungmo_

I noticed you taking a glimpse at the message but didn’t say anything, not even a question.

“You have to go, right?” you asked me with a glum expression, and i nodded my head apologetically to you.

“Go then, till the next time we meet?” you said out to me full of hope, eyes lighting up; the same way mine does when i look at you.

And i couldn’t help but smile to myself at your words, before nodding my head, “I hope we will”

_But if only i knew what meeting you again meant, i would have never wished for that._

——

“Serim please focus, what is on your mind” the ash haired male beside me called out to me, shooting me an irritated expression.

“I’m sorry” I let out a sigh before pressing onto the keys of the keyboard in front of me, facing the pile of numbers and words on the screen once again.

Allen sighed too, before softening his expression a little and asking with concern, “What’s wrong Serim? You have been like this for quite a while now and we’re worried. Is this getting too tiring for you?”

I immediately shook my head at his words, defending myself, “Not at all.. It’s just… some thoughts”

Because how could i tell him that i was thinking of you? Someone i’ve only met twice and someone of potential threat to the all of us.

I barely knew you. Yet you were on my mind.

He simply nodded his head, and did not pry on anymore as he knew i needed my privacy. Patting my back, he gave me a smile, “You know we’re always here right? Okay better start cracking on this organisation’s codes and do what you need to before it’s too late”

I gave him an assuring smile and a hum in a response, before letting out another sigh. Having done this for 5 years now, my fingers did all the work effortlessly.

But my mind still full of you.

——

Maybe you could call it fate, but the next time i met you, was in a place i never once thought i’d ever see you in; an underground club.

A place we frequently visited where no one would know where we hung out at, yet it was the first time seeing you there.

And you didn’t look great that night. In fact, you looked wrecked.

My eyes widened as soon as i saw you and your familiar figure sitting by the bar alone; your hair in a big mess with countless glasses sitting in front of you; your slumped body clearly showing that you weren’t sober.

I lost my smile immediately and ignoring the calls from the others, i quickly ran up to you and tried to wake you up, yet you barely even bulged.

You groaned a little from my touch as you squinted your eyes to take a look at my face. Then i noticed an instant smile appear on yours, your words slurring out from your mouth, “Y-You..’re Se…rim, right? We meet again.. haha”

But i couldn’t smile looking at the state you were in. Something in my heart sink as i knew you weren’t happy.

“Get up Woobin. Let’s go” i attempted to lift you up, but you pushed me away slightly, groaning again and insisting that you wanted to drink more.

“This is the only time… I, get to be free” you said out again, before giggling at your words. But your eyes clearly exhibited your frustrations and sadness.

I tightened my grip on your shoulder and i pulled you away strongly, “No, please don’t do this to yourself”

This time you didn’t fight back. Instead, you wrapped your arms around my neck and as though you planted your full trust in me, you let me help you.

“Serim what are you doing?” I heard Wonjin call out to me, as the other boys turned to face the scene.

“I need to help him. Can we let him stay in our place, please?”

And as expected, all of them immediately opposed to the idea knowing the harm it may bring to ourselves.

“Are you crazy? You’re letting a complete stranger enter our hideout like that? What if our cover blows up” Jungmo lashes out at me in an angry tone, but my heart couldn't buy his words.

At that point of time, it seemed like you were more important than myself, and my own life.

I let out a sigh of frustration, before taking in a deep breath and calling out to them, “Please? He’s a nice person and i’m sure he wouldn’t let us off. Just tonight?”

Jungmo looked at me in disbelief with his mouth wide open before rolling his eyes. Throwing his hands up in the air, he lets out another fit of anger “Fuck Serim, i don’t know what to say”

Allen cleared his throat before giving Jungmo a look. Similarly, he shot me a stern look, “Just tonight Serim. Be careful”

I let out a breath of relief, before nodding my head to him, “Thank you”

——

That night, i got to admire you and your features even more and it seemed like the softness i had always seen in you grew more.

You looked so weak again, your eyes swollen and pale lips. My only thought was that i wanted to protect you, and keep you safe and happy.

The cheerful and bright person that you had portrayed yourself to me was never real, and i knew it from the first time i saw you, for you opened up to me, a stranger, about the things that made you so vulnerable.

And at that moment my body seemed to act on its own as my fingers traced your hair then down to your jawline, a feeling of warmth taking over my body.

In your drunken state of mind, it must have been too much for you, for you reacted to my touch by grabbing my hand and abruptly pushing me down for a short peck on your lips.

I remember how i stood up in shock, as i tried to make out the words that you said before dozing off to deep sleep.

“Thank you for being here for me when no one else is”

Just like that, you occupied every cell in my brain for that night as i couldn’t sleep; i spent the night looking after you, despite the boys’ unhappiness.

——

You woke up frowning and rubbing your head in confusion the next morning, unable to comprehend everything that was happening around you, especially since you were alone in a hidden place, surrounded by strong gazes of the other boys who were staring at you.

But the moment you opened your eyes, i rushed to your side, “Are you okay? Don’t worry we did nothing to you. You were just too drunk last night and i happened to see you there-”

You closed your eyes and rubbed your temple even more, before sitting up right on the couch, “What happened?”

I looked at you nervously, but tried my best to remain calm. But before i could even say out a word, Wonjin appeared from behind and offered you a cup of water, “Nice guy Serim here offered to take you back here because he was worried since you were too drunk to even stand. You alright now?”

I watched as you took the cup from his hand, then muttered a small ‘thank you’ to me, your eyes still looking dazed.

Wonjin gave me a tap on the shoulder and gave me a look, trusting that i knew what i should do next.

And i knew, but i didn’t want to let you go, especially since you didn’t look too fine yet.

But i nodded my head to him, and mouthed for the boys to let me have a private time with you.

I watched you loosen up as soon as they left the room, as you looked me in the eye and said another thank you, followed by a smile.

I shook my head, “Don’t need to thank me”

Then my hands reached out unknowingly to hold your shoulders, “Please never do that to yourself again. Don’t suffer alone”

But you didn’t seem to be bothered by my touch, instead, you laughed a little at my words as you took another sip out of the cup, “How can i not do that when i’m already alone?”

Something in my heart snapped, again.

“You’re not alone, you have me.”, the words i couldn’t control and never would have imagined myself saying came spilling out of my mouth.

You raised your eyebrows at my words, hands reaching up to embrace mine before flashing another smile, “Thank you Serim”

Then it happened.

You asked for my number, and we exchanged contacts.

I couldn’t bring myself to reject you. My heart was already falling for you.

If only you knew then, what you were getting yourself into.

And i couldn’t bring myself to tell you, afraid that you might go away.

_If only i had told you, if only i had stopped myself, everything wouldn't have happened._

——

Before you left you gave me another smile, this time, full of comfort and assurance, “I guess, i shouldn’t tell anyone about this, right?”

I paused to think about your words for a while, “What do you mean?”

You gave me a little pat on my back, “This place, and whatever happened last night, right?”

My confused eyes met yours, and i could see there was a tint of happiness in it, which set comfort to my heart and i nodded my head without thinking much, “Yes please”

——

I don’t know how it exactly happened, or how quickly things were building up between us, but i was happy to have you in my embrace, and i could tell that you too, were finally meeting the happiness you were always looking for.

We didn’t need words to tell each other that we were madly in love with one another; anyone could tell, from the way we expressed ourselves through our actions.

Maybe it was wrong of you to call me whenever you needed someone to talk to, for i found myself focusing all my attention on you and your happiness instead of the tasks i needed to do, or even my own safety.

But i was the only person you knew that could provide you with comfort, and i didn’t want to wreck you even further, so i let you use up all my attention and love.

Maybe the small dates we had shouldn’t have happened, for every single second i spent with you, i found myself falling even harder and being taken under your spell.

Only you could make me feel like this.

You didn’t seem to be bothered by what i was doing, or most importantly, you weren’t scared.

The night i told you the truth, i remember you not being taken aback even by the slightest bit, but instead, you mentioned that you’d love me for who i am, regardless of what i do and that you weren’t afraid at all, as long as you were with me.

The fact that you chose to stay with me warmed my heart.

That was also the night i couldn’t contain myself any longer, and as both our eyes filled with burning passion met each other, our lips met instantly, heated yet slow and gentle.

The taste of you and having my arms entangled in your body that was beyond beautiful in my eyes sent sparks into the veins in my body as i felt my body reacting to you and your touch.

I wanted you; I needed you.

And you wanted me as much as i did, for your hands were gripping onto my hair and body, begging and asking for more, your lips not even leaving mine for a second despite you being out of breath.

Our actions said out the words we couldn’t bring ourselves to say to each other that night.

——

When i told the boys about everything that happened, they weren’t impressed, of course. _What was i thinking?_ Instead, they were disappointed - that i let you take over my mind and body.

You were a distraction to me; we let two potential high profit targets get away because i wasn’t there to provide the boys with enough information as i was with you.

But i was stubborn, and insisted that i needed you.

I could tell the boys were upset and found it hard to accept everything, but eventually they gave in.

So you started spending more time with me at our hideout, although the boys were reluctant to let you enter at first.

You didn’t mind at all that i was, or we, were doing things and ruthless doings to innocent people. Which was shocking, considering what your life goal is - to be a lawyer.

You knew what i was doing went against everything you were studying, yet you still accepted me for who i was and never once went against your word on revealing who we were and what we did.

Whenever we were setting up plans or when i was too busy on the computer to spend time with you, you understood, and never once complained.

You said that my presence was good enough for you.

And maybe it was.

Because there were days you’d come back telling me how well you did in your assessments and reseach thesis reports, and how happy you were that you were finally coping well in university - much different from the stress you faced before you met me.

_How did such a hard working, enthusiastic and by-the-book boy like you end up with a criminal like me?_

_Often times i wondered, did i deserve you Woobin?_

——

Then the worst happened.

You told me how you felt like you were being followed and shadowed all the time; from when you leave your home, to when you come to visit me.

And i was worried. I didn’t want your safety to be threatened because of me.

But once again, you insisted that it was fine, and claimed that maybe it was just you "thinking too much".

You assured me that you didn’t need any of our protection, saying how nothing would ever happen to you.

If only i didn’t listen to you, Woobin

——

I woke up to the sound of your cries and sobbing begging me to help you in the middle of the night through a phone call, and my heart stopped right at that moment, as i felt every piece of my body crumble down into pieces.

“Oh look, we finally found a weakness of yours. This is for shooting down two of my men last night” the familiar voice of a man i hate the most rang through the phone then to my ears.

“Where the fuck are you right now? Why did you have to bring Woobin into this?”

“If we didn’t, would you be this scared right now? We can finally use something against all of you idiots” he snapped back, then let out a cunning and sinister laugh. Next thing, i heard a loud slap and before i knew it, you let out another shout and cry.

My heart was raced as every second ticked by as the thought of you being all alone with them killed me internally

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE DO ANYTHING TO HIM OR-”

“Or what? You’re going to shoot us all down? By the time you all make it here he’s probably gone”

Then he laughed in my ear again, “Next time don’t be so careless and let your guard down, if you want the people you love to get hurt or lose their lives.”

I threw my hands across my table in frustration, then let out a loud groan of anger and frustration. But before i could shout back at him, Allen pulled me away and snatched the phone from me, as Jungmo and Wonjin held me back to calm me down.

I heard another cry from you from the speaker.

Then i broke down onto the floor, body too weak and broken to even move.

It’s all my fault that your life was at risk. It’s all my fault for putting your life into danger.

“What is it that you want from us? Woobin has nothing to do with this so stop this fucking nonsense and get to the point” Allen calmly said to the man on the other line as the tears were already spilling out of my eyes.

Without any hesitation Allen agreed, as he quickly put the phone down and pulled me up, “We don’t have much time Serim. He wants all the files we have for the UNV organisations and to give them every profit we’ve earned within 30 minutes at their umderground base. One second late and Woobin will be gone, gather the fuck up and do what we need to”

And at that moment i tried to contain all the emotions and feelings inside as the only thought that i had in my mind was to save you.

——

The sight of you being tied up, hair disheveled and clothes dirty and torn with bruises on your body and face made my heart sink. I felt a strong urge to punch the men surrounding you, but the boys held me back as i watched with eyes full of fury at them.

But the way you looked at me was the same way you did the first time we met; ones that was begging me for help, and that you needed me a lot.

Your eyes were swollen up and red, and i could see clearly that your cheeks were stained by your tears.

Once again, my body felt weak again. I couldn’t bear to look at you.

This mess that you’ve become because of me.

“Hand them over now. You have 5 minutes left” the bastard called out to Allen, who calmly passed the stack of sealed files and envelopes to him. I watched him impatiently as he looked through the papers and plans, alongside with the pile of money before smirking proudly to himself and nodding his head in satisfaction.

“Impressive. Sacrificing everything you have just for one boy? That’s unlike all of you” he mocked us, then smirked again as he looked at me.

“Thanks to you and your stupid love affair, we get to earn loads of money so thank you”

I lifted up my arm, wanting to throw a punch at his face, but Jungmo held me down. And as i looked from the side of my eyes, you were signalling me to not do the same too.

“Release Woobin now” i hissed at him, trying to suppress my anger, watching him slowly make his way to you.

Then he violently threw you towards us, your body hitting the cold and hard ground hardly as you winced and cried out in pain, the tears coming out from your eyes once more.

He smirked at me, then waved sarcastically to the rest of us, mouthing the words “bye” before leaving as the bunch celebrated their earnings.

I immediately rushed to you and untied the ropes that suffocated you as you fell into my arms right away, your arms tightening around my waist with your face buried in my chest, letting out all the emotions that you kept inside.

I knew that your small and frail heart wasn’t brave enough to take any of this, what’s more, with you being alone. It wrecked my heart and soul to see you cry so much, with your life almost being taken away from you right before your eyes.

And i couldn’t hold back my emotions either. 

At that moment i thought about everything i’ve done, from meeting you to falling for you; the thought of me being toxic rather than a remedy to you struck up even more in my mind, as i hated myself even more for bringing harm to you, someone who never did, and never will deserve.

But your words hit me the most, and made me break down even more,

“You’re here now and that’s all that matters”

——

Days after and you’re recovering well, although still traumatised by all that happened, you claimed that being with me was good enough to make you feel better.

The boys weren’t in good state either, and i don’t blame them, for i caused majority of our plans that we’ve discussed over and worked hard for to get stolen in just a night, including all our earnings.

We were back to nothing.

I was glad that you were safe, but something from deep within was haunting me.

The thought of you being a potential risk or being put at harm again frightened me.

And the thought of me causing more harm to our team rather than of help put me off too.

I shouldn’t be causing more harm to the people around me anymore.

——

You must’ve called for it to happen, as you weren’t much at all affected when i broke it to you that we shouldn’t see each other anymore.

Instead, like the understanding person you always were, you said no other words to me other than “I’ll always love you” before leaving, and that was the last i’d seen of you.

Even at the time like this you remained calm and sweet; the wonderful boy i’ve fallen in love with was too good for me.

Woobin, maybe you think i’m selfish, and you can call me all the names you want to, but i did it for the best of you, and your life.

I didn’t want to put you in danger anymore, because of me.

I couldn’t bear to see you in pain ever again.

Maybe we shouldn’t have even started in the first place, with me clearly knowing that i would bring you harm.

Yet i let my emotions control me, which resulted in you having to go through such an ordeal.

But thank you for letting me feel what it’s like to be loved, and appreciated, in a world i’m secluded and hidden away from, a place i never once thought i would ever experience affection.

Though our worlds are too different, we managed to make it work, even if it was for a short while.

But i guess it was meant to tear us apart eventually.

And i need you; i've gotten so used to you.

But i don’t deserve you, for you’re too wonderful for a man and person like me.

I’m sorry i thought we could work out, Woobin.

I truly am.


	2. nonetheless, thank you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite everything that has happened, Woobin still wants to say a thank you to Serim.

**_“I never thought rough hands could feel so soft and warm. Your laughter made my heart soar. I just wish we could’ve kept going.”_ **

——

My legs wandered and wandered around this unfamiliar place where i’ve never once stepped foot in. My eyes were wide open, yet i couldn’t see anything ahead of me especially in the darkness that seemed to go on forever. 

But i didn’t seem to mind, not even a single bit.

At that moment, all i wanted was for my legs to bring me somewhere away from the stressful city that only brought unhappiness to me; somewhere away from all my problems.

I wanted to find calmness in the hectic life i was living in.

Sometimes i wished i hadn’t made the promise to my father back then before he left; getting into law school and being the best in what i did.

It’s not that i didn’t have the potential, in fact it has always been my dream too; fulfilling my father's wish was just another reason for me to pursue this major. It’s just that sometimes it gets a little too much to handle, especially when you’re all alone, without any friends or family members to support you.

But it was father’s last wish, and i wanted to make him happy even though he was gone.

Many times i envied others around my age - having fun and travelling the world. Yet for me, i felt the constant suffocation of heavy pressure from my major's requirements; i just wanted happiness.

Then the place i happened to stumble across allowed me to meet you.

You whom i found peace in almost everything.

I met the eyes of four boys standing in front of me, expressions stunned from my appearance.

Then one of them came up to me and grabbed my arm. Shocked by the sudden force, i immediately grabbed hold of the books in my arms tightly as i lowered my head down. 

“What are you doing here?”

He shot me a stern look and asked in a threatening manner, which did not help at all in easing my rising fear.

I tried to find an answer from inside but nothing came out from my mouth. At that moment, my mind became a blank.

Then my eyes met yours as i looked around to seek help desperately. In your eyes i could see a sense of sympathy, as though you could read my mind and understood how i was feeling.

In that intense and cold atmosphere, only your eyes looked at me with such softness and it set my then frightened heart at ease for a few seconds.

Sending a signal through my eyes, i begged for you to step up and help me even though i barely even knew if you would.

But you did. The man who grabbed me let go in an instant as soon as you cleared your throat as i looked up to you once more.

“Let me handle him. You all can go in first”

As you took steps closer and closer to me, i didn’t dare look up, afraid that you might do something to me.

But you didn’t, instead, you looked at me with the softest pair of eyes and promised that you wouldn’t hurt me, and i trusted you.

With manners, you kept your arm around me and my shoulders, and i knew you didn’t have any bad intentions; you just wanted to keep me safe, and i didn’t mind.

Instead, i was thankful.

Thankful that you took the initiative to help me, a complete stranger.

I gave you my brightest smile in gratitude of you helping me and i watched you flash me a small grin back.

Then you told me i shouldn’t be out here alone, claiming that it was dangerous. But when i asked you for the reason why, you couldn’t say out an answer - something was holding you back.

I watched as you listen attentively to every word i said, your head nodding and humming in response to every sentence, as you gave me another look of sympathy and concern after i told you about my father.

In your eyes, for some reason, i found comfort.

Then giving me a small pat on my back, you led me out of these abandoned and dark streets, and as soon as you saw light again from the city, you stopped in your tracks.

“Promise me, never ever come back here again, alright?”, your words took me by surprise, as the question to what hid behind this place appeared once again in my mind. Yet within such darkness stood you who was filled with so much sincerity and concern for me.

Then i said out the words to you filled with the same amount of concern, “Like you said this place is dangerous, and i don’t know exactly how dangerous it is but, please keep yourself safe”

I noticed your eyes widen right after as you immediately avoided my gaze, your cheeks turning into a light shade of pink.

Then you broke the silence, “I will and thank you.”

But i could tell that you were lying. I could see it in your eyes.

You didn’t look as sincere saying those words; as though you were reluctant.

And how could you, with a whole bunch of other boys living in such an abandoned and mysterious street be safe?

Then you bid goodbye to me and we parted ways.

A part of me wanted to stay by your side; i didn’t want to go back.

I thought i was crazy, thinking too much about you: a stranger whom i just met and for finding comfort in you.

But i don’t regret it, and never will.

Because those thoughts of you were what made us meet once again.

——

“Woobin, i need you to focus more in lectures. Based on the previous assignment you missed out a few points and that made you lose the chance to score a 100%.” the middle aged man in front of me said out to me in an upset tone, his frown not denying his disappointment.

My heart sank at his words as i felt another part of me being wrecked.

_Not again._

“Sorry professor, but it’s hard for me to get a 100% on assignments especially since this is a new module i’ve only started taking last week-”

He cut me off, “No excuses. I’ve heard from other professors that you’re their best and favourite student. How can i call you the same when you can’t even score well for the basics?”

“But i already got a 85%. Isn’t that good enough for a first time?” i shot back at him, hoping that it would make him happy, at the very least.

But he didn’t even spare a glance at me.

Shaking his head, he muttered to me before signalling me to leave, “I expect more from you.”

_The third time this week._

Every single conversation i had with the professors at the university revolved around getting perfect grades, with them having the highest of expectations for me.

And i tried my best to meet their expectations, yet they kept asking for more.

Which was why maybe, the people around me thought that i was too ambitious, taking away opportunities from them.

They got distant; everyone got distant from me. The room i used to share with my roommate at the dormitory eventually became a place i wasn’t even allowed to step foot in, with him locking the door out on me.

The apartment i rented out provided me with shelter and a place i could call home, but i still felt lonely sometimes. Or maybe, all the time.

Because i had no one to talk to; no friends, no family. Not even a single living person around me bothered to care or ask how i was doing.

The only person who truly ever understood me was father, but he wasn’t there anymore.

—

The tears started falling from my eyes the moment i reached the garden, as my fingers reached down to wipe off the layer dust that had accumulated on his headstone.

_I’m sorry for even having the thought to break my promise with you, papa. I’m sorry it’s so hard for me to deal with all these. I miss you so much._

The emotions came gushing out from deep within as i sat next to the headstone hidden in my own circle, the silence from the garden comforting every broken part of me.

Then i thought of you. For some reason I wished that i would stumble upon you again, so that at least someone would ask how i was feeling.

The thought of seeing you smile allowed my heart to feel at ease, and it was a smile no one has ever shown to me for years.

_How desperate was i to seek help from a stranger?_

Maybe it was a coincidence, or preferably, fate.

For the moment i shot my head up upon hearing footsteps settling beside me, i came face to face with the sight of you sitting beside me. 

You looked at me with eyes full of concern. Then i faked a smile to you, which you didn’t believe - you didn’t smile back, instead, i could see a frown slowly forming as your eyes stared deeply into mine.

I feigned a laughter, hoping that this time, it would bypass you. But it didn’t; your eyes were still piercing deep into my soul, as though wanting me to tell you the truth, all my problems and sadness.

You were willing to listen.

But i guess i was too afraid to open myself up to you, afraid you might leave too, like the others.

So i quickly changed the topic, and took the chance to ask for your name.

“I’m Serim, nice to see you again.. I guess”

There was faint shade of pink on your cheek once again as i took my hand in yours.

Your hands were rough - they felt like sandpaper or perhaps stone; well suited with your masculine body. Yet they felt so warm and comforting.

Then i took up the courage to say a few words to you, “You’re a really nice guy, you know”

You paused for a moment, unable to reply to the sudden compliment. I watched as you stuttered a little before thanking me, as though it was the first time someone has ever complimented you.

Maybe it was, but i meant what i said. Because how could someone i barely even knew be this nice to me?

There was a look of disappointment in your eyes as soon as your phone lit up, and i quickly took a glimpse at the message, _“Serim, come back right now we need your help to track down some people.” - Jungmo_

It sounded serious, too serious in fact. As much as i was curious about what it meant, i didn’t want to invade your privacy.

Then you cleared your throat and hid your phone away, before looking at me apologetically.

I could tell you didn’t want to leave, and i didn’t want you to leave too.

But you really needed to, as though it depended on your life.

So you left, and all that i saw of you was your back. Then i was left alone again.

But the loneliness didn't feel as bad anymore, all thanks to you.

Right after i wished that we’d meet again, we did and you managed to bring about comfort for me.

Maybe you’d think that i should have never wished for that, but i will never regret my choice.

I never will, Serim.

——

My heart stopped the moment i realised who was standing at my door - she wore a thick and heavy coat around her shoulders, her ankles strapped with the heels that she wore as her face was caked with layers of make-up.

She smiled at me, her eyes filled with uncertainty, as though she couldn’t bring herself to say a word to me.

And i wished she didn’t.

“It’s been a long time” she reached out to grab my hand, but i moved away, not even looking her in the eye.

And i didn’t answer; i didn’t want to.

_Because how could someone who walked out on me 10 years ago gain my trust back?_

But she didn’t give up. She smiled at me again, this time bigger, holding a bag up to me, “I know this is all unexpected but i heard you got into law school recently so i bought a few gifts to congratulate you”

I didn’t budge a single bit, refusing to even take a look at the bag.

Then her smile turned into a frown, her expression changing almost immediately - one i was all so familiar with. With an irritated tone, she burst at me, “Look, can’t you just put the past behind and let me fulfil the role of your mother? Why are you still being so cold and rude to me”

My blood boiled at her words, clenching my fist tightly as i bit my lips, trying to suppress my anger.

“You left without a single word back then and you expect me to respect you? When you didn’t even do anything to help raise me? Father passed on because your sudden departure was too much for him to handle. How can i leave everything in the past when it comes back haunting me every single day?” i snapped back at her, my eyes full of hatred.

And i bluntly spilled out the last sentence with almost no emotion, “And i have no mother.”

She rolled her eyes at my reply then let out an exasperated scoff. Throwing the bag right outside of the door, she walked off as though nothing happened while dusting her coat, not even looking back once, "To think i even thought of wanting to reconcile with you. A waste of my time.”

The moment she left i fell onto the ground: the walls that held me and my anger up came collapsing down as the tear drops fell from my chin, drenching my shirt.

I threw a punch to the ground yet i was returned with nothing other than the pain that hit me back; but not as painful as the ache in my heart.

_Why did she have to come back? Why did she have to come find me?_

I needed a getaway; a much stronger one.

—

I found myself walking the same path i walked when i first met you, amongst the abandoned streets.

The lights from the sign caught my attention, and at that moment, without even thinking, i entered the place.

A place i’d never thought i’d step into ever.

But the loud music at the place seemed to clear my mind off the problems i had as i watched a few people letting themselves free; they looked happy, and i wanted to be happy too.

So i called for a glass of liquor, hoping it would take my mind away for a while. The first sip didn’t do much, and so did the second and third.

By the time i gulped down the ninth glass, my mind was swirling around, my vision starting to get blurry.

But i found myself laughing and giggling as i could barely even remember the reason why i resorted to a place like this in the first place; i was too drunk.

But then there was a hand that gripped my shoulder, a familiar touch.

Then a familiar face; it was you, Serim.

My lips formed a smile as soon as i saw your face, happy that i got to see you again.

Then i blurted out a few words i couldn’t remember saying, but you didn’t smile the same way i did. Instead, you looked upset and bothered that i was in this state.

You tried to pull me away, but i resisted. I didn’t want to go back to living life. I wanted to be free, for once.

But you blurted out to me a few words that touched my heart; or maybe because i was too drunk to resist anymore, i let you pull me away.

And till this day, im thankful that you did.

—

The sharp pain in my head caused me to open my eyes and i found myself in an unfamiliar place.

But you were sitting right in front of me, your eyes looking at me ever so softly.

I rubbed my eyes in confusion as i tried to recall what happened the night before, but nothing came up. 

How did you appear right in front of me?

The second you realised i was awake, you rushed to my side and you babbled a few words that i couldn’t make out, along the lines of “Are you alright” and “We didn’t do anything to you”. At that point, my mind was too in pain to comprehend anything.

Then you paused when i cut you off, “What happened?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but a young, pink-haired boy appeared from behind you, holding out a cup to me with his hands, “Nice guy Serim here offered to take you back here because he was worried since you were too drunk to even stand. You alright now?”

Taking the cup in my hands, my gaze shifted to you and from your expression i could tell that you were concerned and worried for me. I muttered a small thank you to you under my breath, hoping you’d see it, and you did it; you shook your head and gave me a small assuring smile, as though it was something you needed to do.

Then the young man gave you a tap on your shoulder as you nodded your head and signalled for the boys to leave.

The place i was in looked dull and dark, with many computers and gadgets lying on the tables, the walls filled with maps that were covered in writings and sketches. At the corner of the place there was a small room, as i noticed the many weapons lying in there.

I was right; you and your group of friends were not ordinary people.

Because who would isolate themselves from the city and hide in a forgotten place like here?

Over the many case studies that i've studied, this scene was a common sight. 

This was your hideout, your safe place.

Then you broke the silence, your hands touching my shoulder as you said the words that once again showed me that you cared.

“Please never do that to yourself again. Don’t suffer alone”

But i let my words slip out of my mouth again, “How can i not do that when i’m already alone?”. I was hoping that you’d ignore it and dismiss my broken heart.

But you didn’t. Instead i watched your expression fall at the sound of my words, your eyebrows furrowing together to form a look of confusion.

Then you mumbled out the words that got me hooked onto you, and would always remain in my heart forever,

“You’re not alone, you have me.”

It took me by surprise, for at a time like this i needed someone to be there for me and tell me i wasn’t alone, you did. You had built up a wall around my heart like no one else has ever done before.

I found myself reaching out for your hand as i rubbed your fingers and gave you the most sincere smile, thanking you for your words that gave me comfort.

Then the best happened.

I took up the courage to ask for your number, which i could tell you were hesitant about at first. But you eventually gave in, as you typed the numbers into my phone and passed it back to me with a smile.

It was the best because it was from then where we started becoming closer, and one thing led to another.

And i knew what i was getting myself into, but i wasn’t afraid.

I just wanted to be with you.

——

I remember exactly how it happened; each day i found myself craving you and your presence more, for you were my happiness that i could seek comfort in, something i’ve been longing for years.

And you, you were lost in me too. The look on your face whenever i was by your side was enough to tell me that you needed me too.

To you, i was also your happiness.

Maybe one could say our relationship developed too fast, for we were madly in love with each other and you became the reason why i looked forward to a brand new day each day.

Maybe it was selfish of me for just wanting to have you all to myself, and i regret not being more careful. But i wanted to hear your voice and your words of advice whenever i wasn’t feeling my best because you were the only thing that could make me feel better.

And i watched you focus every attention on me and giving your all to me. 

And thinking back, i’m sorry for making you feel like you were disregarding your job.

Maybe you wish that the small dates we had shouldn’t have happened, as i watched you fall even deeper for me every single time we met, your eyes looking at me full of love and passion whenever we stared deep into each other in silence.

But it was the same for me too; i was too wrapped up over the idea of having you and wanting you to even think straight. Yet those small dates are memories that i’ll keep forever in my heart.

Then you finally told me the truth, and it was at that moment we broke down the walls between us and i accepted you for who you are, like how you accepted me.

The night you told me, i could tell that you were afraid, afraid that i might leave you or mind the truth. Instead i told you words from deep within my heart, telling you that i love you for who you are, regardless of whatever setbacks that held you down.

Because who was i to mind that you were a criminal, when you only brought about happiness to my life? How ironic was it that me, a supposed holder of law and justice, didn't mind what you did at all?

That was also the night i couldn’t control myself any longer; we both couldn’t. And as though both of our hearts spoke the same words and wanted the same thing, our eyes never once left each other as our lips met quickly.

The touch of you sent chills to my body, as the temperature and atmosphere around us got more tense and heated. With your hands roaming every part of my body, i realised that you were everything to me.

You were what i needed.

It was the same for you too, you couldn’t stop yourself. Your hands pulled my face and body closer to yours as you barely even gave me a second to catch my breath, your tongue exploring every inch of my mouth. With your hot breath tingling against my skin, i could tell you wanted me as much as i wanted you.

Our actions meant much more than words could ever mean that night, words we couldn’t bring ourselves to say before.

—

I could tell that the boys weren’t too accepting of me at first, and i could understand why. Because who would have thought they’d let anyone else other than themselves know about where they lived and risk their lives like that?

And all of them were cold to me, trying to convince you to let go of me before our relationship deepened. But you were too stubborn; and i was also persistent.

Eventually over time they became more open, as they started to trust me day by day.

So we got to spend more time together.

Although you were busy most of the time - having to crack codes and hack into websites and organisations, i was contented just to have you by my side.

I got to see a new side to you; the serious and charismatic side where you’d pay full attention and focus hard on the computer but ending up with a bright smile whenever you successfully finished your task.

It made me love and adore you more.

Being with you allowed me to be more brave, and it also gave me a sense of motivation. My performance in university had improved a whole lot, and i found myself not stressing or being unhappy over them like the way i used to.

You were what kept me going.

You said once before that you felt like our differences often made you feel inferior, but i always told you that i didn’t mind at all, and that it didn’t mean anything to me.

But occasionally you’d still doubt yourself, asking if you deserved me or not.

And my answer would always be yes, you deserved me as much as i deserved you.

Yet you were hard to convince, and i don’t blame you.

——

Because the worst and unexpected happened.

The minute i stepped out of the apartment building i felt a presence behind my back, as though someone was staring at me.

But there was no one; no one i could see, that is.

It continued for days, especially whenever i came to see you, the presence and feeling would get more intense.

Was someone out to cause harm to you?

So i contemplated a little before telling you, as i knew i had to let you know sooner or later. And as expected, you were worried and concerned for me.

You suggested to call some of your men to protect me and follow me, but i rejected your offer, afraid that it would make the matter worse.

What’s more, it could have landed you in trouble.

You tried asking again, but i assured you and told you it was really fine, so you listened to me.

But now, i realise i was wrong.

I wish you didn’t listen to me.

It’s all my fault and i’m sorry Serim.

—

I heard the loud bang of the door hitting the floor from outside my room followed by the shuffling of feet. Immediately, i grabbed my phone and locked my room door, pressing my whole body against it.

But there were too many of them. Once they realised that i had locked the door, they started forcing themselves in from the outside, kicking and hitting it as hardly as they could.

First kick, second kick, and third kick.

My shaking body couldn’t handle the amount of force and i was thrown onto the ground immediately, the sight of men wearing all black with guns in their hands filling my room.

I tried to dial for your number, but it was already too late. One of them snatched my phone violently and pressed a damp cloth against my nose tightly as the others tied my hands and legs together.

My struggles got weaker and weaker, and eventually i was too weak to even move my finger, my drowsy eyelids falling and next thing i knew, darkness overtook everything.

—

I woke up to a burning pain on my back and then across my cheek - the man in front of me continued throwing his palm to my cheek, then proceeded to laugh to himself hysterically when he met my eyes.

I tried to pull my hands and legs apart, but they were bounded so tightly that they were slowly turning red. 

Another slap across my cheek.

_I need you Serim_

The man lifted my chin with his finger, then exclaimed to me with his eyebrows raised, “Top in major in a law school? How did such a law-abiding student like you fall in love with a low, and notorious man like him? Sounds perfect for a drama script.”

I rolled my eyes at his words, then cursed at him, “It’s none of your fucking business what happens in our relationship. What do you want from Serim?”

His hands pulled my hair tightly, ignoring my cries, then hissed into my ear, “Your dear boyfriend and his bunch killed two of my men yesterday and if you didn’t know already, we are not on good terms and have never been.”

He pulled even harder.

“But thanks to you we finally found a way to threaten them and get what we want, to get back everything we’ve lost to them.”

The tears came rolling out even more at his words, because it was then that i started realising that me wanting to help you had backfired instead.

Then he gave a nod to another man as he pressed on your contact number from my phone that was in his hand.

And within seconds, you picked up, knowing that i needed help since i hardly ever called you this late at night.

Then the man gave me a few more slaps, and i let out a cry. Immediately, i heard your frantic shouting through the phone.

The man rambled a few nonsensical words that i couldn’t hear clearly to you as i was too silenced by my own cries.

But your voice; it made me more weak thinking about how worried you must have been, trying to control your anger and hold back your emotions at the thought of me being in danger.

Then i cried even more, and with every energy i had left, i called out your name loudly. You shouted again through the phone, but it got cut off and i couldn’t hear your voice anymore.

Only the sound of crying and shouting coming from the background.

The man demanded everything from you all, but none of you flinched, putting my safety above all priorities and agreeing to all his demands.

Then the call ended, and the man turned around to give me a smirk, before patting my head.

My heart raced at the thought of you.

I’m so sorry, Serim, i really am.

—

My head shot up when i heard the sounds of running coming from the front and as i squinted my eyes to look afar. I saw you, the way your face was so full of anger and worry, desperately wanting to run towards me.

But i was too weak to even speak any more anymore, the pain from the bruises on my body making it worse for me to bear.

As you got nearer and could make out that it was me, the boys held you back to make sure you didn’t act on impulse.

Then i looked at you, the same way i did when i first met; a signal begging for you to help me.

My eyes were too swollen and sore to even open, but your eyes being locked in mine was enough to keep me going.

You probably blamed yourself for causing all these to happen to me, but it’s not your fault. I was the one who brushed the matter away.

The man cut to the chase and immediately demanded for Allen to pass him everything that you all had planned for months. With pride, he looked through every single paper and the stacks of cash in the envelops before flashing another smirk on his disgusting face.

He walked up to you and mocked you, “Thanks to you and your stupid love affair, we get to earn loads of money so thank you.”

My heart sank even deeper at his words. Like knifes stabbing me deep in my back, something inside me ached.

You rose your arm immediately, but i stared at you and slightly shook my head, as Jungmo held your arm back even tighter. Then you let out a deep breath and gritted your teeth.

“Release Woobin now”

Immediately after you said those words, he made his way to me as i kept my head low, not wanting to look into his eyes.

But he grabbed me from behind and with full force, pushed me towards you onto the hard ground, the impact and pain making me let out another cry.

Then he finally left.

You rushed towards me and ripped apart the ropes that held me together and took my bruised body into your arms as you let out a cry and a groan of frustration, followed by the tears that you tried to hold back earlier.

My arms wrapped around your torso, finally embracing being able to be in your arms of safety and comfort again as the tears from my eyes also kept flowing down.

It broke my heart to know that even the strong and hard-headed man that i love was vulnerable and weak before my arms too, holding on to me as though his life depended on it.

And i said out the words to you that made my heart feel at ease at that moment,

“You are here now and that’s all that matters”

Because Serim, your presence will never not be helpful to me.

——

But i knew things couldn’t keep going on the way it was after that incident.

It was too much of a blow to me, to the boys, and especially you.

You still showed me concern and love the same way you always did, making sure i was recovering and resting well.

But i could tell that in your mind, you had many thoughts. And that you were blaming yourself for all that happened.

And i know of how selfless you are; so the thought of yourself causing harm to the people you love must have haunted you for days.

Because you started to show signs that you didn’t want to continue like that anymore.

And i didn’t want to stop you, for i knew you’d be even more unhappy if i did.

—

Then there came the day, you finally took up the courage to break it to me.

I’ve prepared my heart well and strong enough long before as i knew you’d tell me one day that we couldn’t continue anymore.

You mentioned about how much you didn’t want to be a burden to my life, bringing harm to me and causing me to live in fear.

You claimed to be of harm to my life.

But i didn’t say anything much, knowing that it wouldn’t change your mind. If it’s for the best and it’s a decision you’ve already made, i will respect your choice.

“I’ll always love you” i said before i left, wanting you to know that you shouldn’t blame yourself, and that i don’t blame you for all that happened.

Because what you didn’t know or could see was that you weren’t what you claimed to be to me; you were my hope, my happiness and getaway.

You were my remedy.

I would never think of you as selfish, because you are not and i know you will never become it, for i understand where you came from and that you just wanted to make me happier.

You let me go because you wanted me to achieve more.

But you were the best i’ve ever had, and i thank god everyday that i got to come across you.

But maybe we weren’t meant to be; the world is seems so cruel because everything seems to be tearing us apart.

Thank you for everything Serim, and all that you’ve done to brighten up my life.

And with that,

I’m sorry i made you think that we could work out.

I truly thought we could.


	3. and we will be fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months after, Serim and Woobin come to realise why the world works the way it does.

_**"I find solace in the fact that time will pass and the world will keep spinning despite everything that's happened."** _

\------

The cool air from the wind hits Serim's arms, sending chills down his body. He feels the cold slowly engulf him - his fingertips gradually losing its sense of touch, yet none of it amounts to the coldness in his heart.

He continues dragging his two feet on the ground, arms crossed together as his eyes roam around endlessly. 

He sees the familiar sight of the wooden bench from a distance and instantly, he lets out a small sigh before making his way towards it.

As soon as he sits down, the memories that he has been trying to bury deep down for months came rising back up.

Woobin's hands in his, his soft and calming voice sharing about his day and his feet softly kicking the stones on the floor, in this very place. These small moments still lingered from time to time in Serim's mind.

Serim looks down as his finger fiddles with the pink and white bracelet he has on his wrist. He lets out another sigh as soon as his eyes land on the two initials, "S ♡ W"

Pursing his lips, he admires the tiny flaws on this very bracelet - the loosely tied knot and the bits and pieces of glue stains around the beads. He remembers Woobin's exact smile when the latter brought it up to his face, proudly exclaiming, "Look! I stayed up all night doing this. It isn't perfect, but i thought we could have something personal to match."

The wind blows the dried leaves from the ground and off into the distance, the sound of the rustling breaking the silence that surrounded Serim. 

_10:08 PM_

He's been here for 30 minutes now, lost and dazed, as though waiting for something, _or someone_ , to appear. 

It's been 5 months since they've parted ways, yet everyday the emotions and memories come haunting Serim and as much as he hated to admit it, he misses Woobin. 

The other boys watched as Serim became more distant, detaching himself from his emotions, from them, and from life in general. They would find Serim sitting blankly in front of his two monitor screens, though fingers working intensely, his eyes filled with emptiness and nothing more.

He became less talkative and the occasional jokes he used to share with the boys soon came down to nothing. Serim seemed to only exist physically; though his body was awake and doing well, it was as though every ounce of emotions have left him.

Now, all alone in this vulnerable place, Serim feels a wave of emotions hit him - both unexplainable and overwhelming. Soon, he's clenching his two fists and he finds himself out of breath, eyes filled to the brim with tears.

"I miss you, i really fucking do." he curses out of frustrated; frustrated with himself, frustrated with everything that has happened.

The garden fills up with the sound of Serim's sniffling aside from the whistling of the wind. 

_10:39 PM_

It's crazy how fast time flies; Serim feels as though he hasn't done much the past hour, yet here he is sitting on this bench lost in his emotions and memories, indulging in this unfortunate thing called sorrow.

Likewise, he still finds it hard to believe that five months have already passed. As opposed to the eight months they have spent together previously, the past five months felt stagnant. Yet the next thing Serim knew, he realises that five months have already passed.

His mind wanders off to thoughts of Woobinl:

_How are you doing? I hope you're doing better now. Has school been well to you? How are you coping? Have you found happiness?_

The list of questions keeps pouring out from the back of his mind, but he lets out another sigh knowing he will never know the answers to these questions. 

He looks up to stare at the bright and radient crescent moon - it sits so calmly in the night skies amidst the grey and dark clouds surrounding it. The stars twinkle from a distance, emitting a sense of tranquility, in contrast to the noisiness in the garden.

Serim closes his eyes at this very image, reminding him of everything that has happened. Like the rowdiness of this garden, the two's relationship came to an end in chaos, yet time still passes and the world keeps moving on like the moon and stars, peacefully and without a care or two.

Though he is still caught up in these memories, time will keep spinning and tranquility will still sit there, waiting to embrace Serim in its arms. He comes to realise that though it isn't the easiest task to do - _heck, he's been trying for months_ \- he will have to keep pushing on and hope that one day, peace will finally overcome these emotions.

His heart feels a little better thinking about the other side; how Woobin will eventually get better too _(or maybe he already is)_ , how time too will pass for Woobin and that he will achieve the things he has worked so hard for and eventually, happiness.

Serim's body finally relaxes and the cold wind suddenly starts to feel a little warmer now. 

_11:01 PM_

Letting out a breath of relief, he stands up and dusts off the back of his jeans. With a hand in his pocket, he purses his lips and starts taking the road back down, out of this garden. 

He's done this a lot the past few months, but for some reason, today feels a little different. Finally, Serim feels a sense of relief and solace. 

And finally, he can bring himself to say,

"Woobin, even though i miss you a lot, i will try to move on."

\------

Woobin keeps his head tucked under the hood of his hoodie as he hugs the bouquet of flowers close to his chest. Taking the familiar pathway down to his comfort place, his eyes light up at the sight of the headstone.

He carefully places the flowers beside the stone, before stroking the letters engraved on it. Letting out a small grin, he mumbles softly to himself, "It's been long dad. Sorry i've been too busy. But the school year just ended today and guess what, my GPA is close to a perfect 4.0. I did amazing right?"

He pauses for a bit before letting out a chuckle when he realises that silence answers instead, like always. However, he continues staring endearingly at the headstone in front of him, still having a smile on his face.

"Dad, the past few months haven't been the easiest. But i made it through and i'm very proud. I'm sure you are too right?"

As soon as those words left his mouth, his mind drifts off to the thought of Serim. Unknowingly, the very image of Serim in his mind brings upon a smile to his face as he feels the familiar fuzzy and warm feeling in his chest.

He sighs, then plops down on the ground. The night seems to be more chilly than usual tonight, but covered by the thick fabric of his hoodie, Woobin manages to stay warm. 

Woobin starts to hum to the tune of his favourite song softly, his fingers drawing circles on the soil below. Naturally, his mind brings him back to the day he met Serim in this very place, and here he was drawing circles on the ground too.

His phone lights up from his hoodie's front pockets.

_10:27 PM_

As Woobin lifts his phone up, his eyes fall onto the string of beads that hung from it. It was a sight Woobin saw everyday, but tonight, looking at it makes him feel a little sentimental, a little emotional. His other hand reaches up to stroke the beads and to the two initials on it. As the memories come flashing back, Woobin lets out a small smile, still happy that this small fraction of his life still happened together with the one he loved the most.

After they parted ways, Woobin was lost; unsure of what to do, unsure of whether he was capable of being alone again. Emotions came and go quickly from time to time, and though on many occasions Woobin wanted to give up, he told himself that he would let everything that has happened be a form of motivation instead.

He reminds himself of how capable he is of doing so well, and having seen both the worst and the best of people the past eight months, he told himself that though shortcomings were bound to happen, things were to become better eventually too.

With this mindset, Woobin found himself in a much better place as time passed by. Things slowly fell into place and time passed.

Rather than forgetting Serim completely, he came to accept that maybe the parting was inevitable and meant to be; for the better of him, for the better of the two of them.

Though he couldn't check up on Serim anymore, he prayed everyday that he is doing well and that he too, is in an ever better place. 

_10:53 PM_

The light from Woobin's screen lights up again, pulling him out of his thoughts.

_"It's getting pretty late, hope you're almost done. Text me when you get home :)" - Minhee"_

Woobin smiles from the text and quickly gives a small reply before putting his phone back into his pocket. 

He looks up and notices how the moon and stars are shining exceptionally bright tonight, as though illuminating as a form of hope. With it comes a feeling of serenity, and Woobin finds himself getting lost in the calmness of the scene.

He was about to stand up when he hears the shuffling of feet from a distance. Woobin thinks nothing of it at first, his back still facing the pathway as he cleans up his father's space.

The shuffling gets a little louder, then fades away in a few seconds. Woobin stands up, his hands still in his hoodie's pockets. Then, his whole body freezes.

His eyes widen as soon as he sees the familiar back from a distance, wearing the black tee he's seen so often a few months back. Immediately, he recognises who it is. 

Woobin feels the urge to call out his name, but noticing how Serim looked so comfortable and peaceful walking alone, he manages to hold back.

His body slowly relaxes as he continues to watch Serim walk further and further away, and soon leaving the garden. 

For some reason, Woobin feels both a tinge of sadness and happiness take over his heart; the sight of Serim brought back all of the emotions, yet it also brought about solace knowing that he looks fine.

Huddling himself closer in his hoodie, Woobin starts to walk slowly while taking slow and big breaths. 

He notices a small butterfly flying around him and he stops in his track to observe the small creature. Holding up his finger, the butterfly hovers around it for a few seconds before landing on it. Woobin lets out a smile as he admires how peaceful the butterfly looks.

Another a few seconds and the buttefly flies off. Woobin stares at it until it goes out of sight and he finds himself smiling again.

The tiny creature reminded Woobin of himself; how it is so frail and weak yet still trusted a whole human being without hesitation before flying away so carefreely while going about with its life.

Though the world is cruel sometimes, Woobin has learnt to see the beauty in it. Though some things are not meant to be, time will pass and like the butterfly, we will all go on about with our lives.

He feels his heart warm up and his eyes fill with tears (happy tears though) and he lets out one last smile before mumbling to himself,

"Serim i'm glad the world has moved on and i hope you have too."

And just like that, Woobin slowly leaves the garden, his heart and mind at peace.

\------

Time continues ticking by and the world keeps spinning.

Memories stay but emotions change.

Serim and Woobin, time will heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the end of this mini series! had a boost of serotonin while writing this so it's a little different from what i usually write. hope it didn't disappoint though :( leave some kudos if you can, thank you <3


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